Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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