Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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