These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
