i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
