dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
