There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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