next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
