moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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