I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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