let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
