girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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