...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
