the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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