Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize