im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
why do cheetos always look like penises
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
