Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Found your dick twin last night
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
