no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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