we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
