Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
