when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
