I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
