I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Screwed.edu
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
