Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
