have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
