I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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