Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I want to have your abortion
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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