I think I am morally bankrupt
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
