He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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