Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
