I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
