How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Houston, we have a squirter
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
