the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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