My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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