If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
