So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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