Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I fill condoms, not promises.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
