Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
