Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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