No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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