covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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