my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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