we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
