found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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