in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
