Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
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