I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
