I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
