Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
