please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
