I smell stomach acid.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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